Jungle Kitchen’s DILF Awards: Your Tropical DILF and what food we think you’d like from their country.

We know what you’re here for….a meal recommendation, of course! Why else did you click on this article? Totally not for the handsome, tanned, and hot (no pun intended) DILFs the tropics has to offer. We have to maintain some decorum, right?

To convince my editor to post this, I have to, of course relate this to food in some form or another, so while you’re here perusing, let me recommend some food I think both you and your chosen TDILF (Tropical Dad I’d Like To ….) would enjoy, trademark pending. 

In honour of archivedilfs’ yearly ranking awards, we decided to hold our own version, shouting out some of our favourite DILFs that get us as humid as the weather in the tropical world. 

Jason Momoa and Poi – Hawai’i

Starting us off very strong, towering at 193cm/6’3, Jason Momoa himself is here as our first tropical daddy. Hawai’i is a beautiful nation, rich in culture, food, and great people, famed for being an iconically classic tourist destination. However, despite how much we love the island and its scenic beauty, we need to love the people native to Hawai’i too. We do that by respecting their wishes and refrain from visiting, because environmental degradation and destroying livelihoods of the people who call Hawai’i home, is most definitely NOT sexy. So instead of flying there, let’s use our kitchens to bring both Hawai’i, and Jason Momoa into your life.

The kalo (taro) is a traditional and culturally significant plant to Hawaiians, and you can make a delicious poi right in your kitchen. All you need are two kalo’s, a pot you can boil them in, ideally a stone mortar and pestle (or you know, a food processor bowl) you can mash it in, and a cup of water.

Think about sharing fresh poi with Jason Momoa (shirtless, ideally), passing the bowl around with friends and family while the cool island wind is coming in through the open windows, delicious kalua pork and lomi-lomi salmon on the table, and of course, dipping two, or maybe three fingers into the bowl of poi? Especially with a view of Aquaman himself looking at you? Finger-licking good.

Diego Luna and Mole – Mexico

If you thought his accent in Andor was hot, just wait till you try an authentic Mexican Mole Poblano. Mole just means sauce, and while there are many types of mole’s, the ingredients tend to include dried chillies, nuts, and chocolate.

The ingredients and preparation of mole is complex, involving the process of toasting sesame seeds, almonds, and peanuts; sauteing chillies, onions, garlic, coriander and cumin seeds, melting chocolate and simmering everything. We implore you to find an authentic mole recipe that works for you online, as we don’t feel qualified to give you the rundown in this article, and it would be a disservice to reduce it to a simple recipe. But mole can be eaten with corn tortillas, rice, or even used as a marinade to cook with your protein of choice (traditionally, its chicken).

A fresh pot of mole on the stove while Diego Luna sits nearby. Take two plates of rice or tortillas and enjoy the spicy, earthy, smoky, and warm chocolate-y taste of mole with an equally spicy, smoky, and warm voice of Diego Luna, AKA Captain Cassian Jeron Andor. His sparkly eyes making soft eye contact with you from across the wooden table is just part of the experience, we think.

Oscar Isaac and Shucos – Guatemala

From playing Llewyn Davis in Inside Llewyn Davis to Miguel O’Hara in Across the Spiderverse, this award winning DILF is credited for breaking stereotypes in Hollywood and their Latin type-casting while being one of the most versatile actors in the industry. So, we decided to honour that by taking something Americans love, that Guatemala just does better; Shucos.

Shuco, meaning ‘dirty’ in Spanish, is a Guatemalan street food that resembles a hot dog or meat sandwich. Toasting a hot dog bun, spreading guacamole on it, layering a beautiful chorizo or sausage in the middle, before topping it with fresh pico de gallo and jalapenos. It sounds simple, and easy enough to make at home of course, but nothing beats getting it straight from the street carts in Guatemala.

We think it quite romantic to be holding hands with Oscar Isaac Hernandez Estrada on his day off, and getting authentic Shucos from the carretas de Shucos (street carts). Oh, and remember when we said shuco meant ‘dirty’? More like messy; it’s quite sensual to help Oscar wipe some mustard off his cheek with a napkin while you’re both enjoying shucos on the sidewalk. 

Pedro Pascal and Empanadas de Pino – Chile

Empanadas are one of the most popular food items in America that hail from Spain and Latin America, and you’ve seen it everywhere. But empanadas de pino is uniquely from Chile, the same way that while you’ve probably seen Pedro Pascal everywhere, you can’t deny that he’s authentically Chilean, and proud of it too. 

Empanadas de Pino is a fried or baked pastry with pino (mixture of onions and a protein, traditionally ground beef in this case) in the middle all wrapped up. Mixing some all-purpose flour and salt in a bowl with a dash of white wine, you could make the dough needed for the empanadas. While waiting for it to rest in the refrigerator, prep your filling with chopped onions, spices, flour, beef stock, raisins, hard-boiled eggs and of course, your ground beef (or otherwise if you’re vegetarian).

As a cute couples bonding activity, you could always get him to roll out the dough and together you would stuff each empanada, practicing your empanada folding at the kitchen counter. The same way the meat is wrapped by the dough, you could think of his arms wrapped around you while making this, before turning up the heat (of the oven, silly!) and putting them in.

Adam Caldera and Pol Sambol – Sri Lanka

There are numerous curries, sambols, and chutneys that come from Sri Lanka, and usually during a meal, they’re accompanied by fresh, warm, pearly white rice. Honestly, if you stayed there, chances are you’d land yourself in a food coma quite often. But no worries, of course, because Dr. Caldera is here in case of any medical emergency, especially ones related to the ‘accidental’ ingestion of large quantities of pol sambol.

Pol sambol, or coconut sambol, is a yummy condiment that can be used with, basically anything, and it is popular for that reason. If you come from the tropics, you know that most cultures have their own type of sambal or sambol, however this one uses grated fresh coconut, garlic, shallots, any form of heat component (fresh chillies, chilli flakes, etc.), and lime juice. It is actually offensively easy to make for how yummy it is, and all you need is a mortar and pestle. Pound it all together, and it’s ready!

Considering Dr. Caldera’s love for wildlife and always being on-the-go (whether it be in the hospital on duty or modelling or taking photos in the wild) this would be an easy and quick dish that you could make for him, and it’s friendly to animals. Is it the heat from the sambol that’s got you all flushed? Oh no, someone call the doctor, you might have a fever! 

Henry Golding and Sarawakian Kolo Mee – Malaysia

Listen, there are many yummy things that come from Malaysia; nasi lemak, char kuay teow, roti canai, the list just goes on. OUR favourite yummy thing that comes from Malaysia is Henry Golding. We really put the ‘crazy’ in Crazy Rich Asians when it comes to him. He is very proud of where he comes from, especially the fact that he’s from East Malaysia, specifically from the Dayak Iban clan in Sarawak. So we think you would love to try his favourite food: Kolo Mee.

Kolo mee is this wonderful pale dried noodle dish, tossed with pork lard, ground pork, fried shallots, and green onion. Of course, there are more steps to the process but you get the gist. While, yes you can make this at home, some of the best Malaysian food always comes from the random hawker stalls occupying a corner lot.

I think Henry would be quite the morning person when it comes to his kolo mee, forcing you to follow him to the closest hawker stall (while you’re both dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and probably slippers) to order a bowl each. Despite the busy and loud atmosphere in the establishment, you know what they say about two people in love when they make eye contact; everyone else just fades into the background, and it’s just the two of you at that table….and probably three other people you’re sharing the table with.

Joe Taslim and Sambal Terasi – Indonesia

While Joe Taslim is busy acting, training, and modelling, one thing for sure is that this Palembangese liked his food as hot as he is, which we predict to be on insane Scoville levels of heat, I mean, have you seen him?

One dish he has pointed out in previous interviews that takes his heart is a well made sambal terasi. Sambal terasi is an Indonesian chilli paste made with, and we’re not joking, a whole bundle of red and green chillies, tomatoes, garlic, ginger, shallots, sugar, and lime juice. Everything is put in a lidded pot with some water, and boiled. While that’s cooking, fry a block of shrimp paste in oil until brown. The next step is to throw everything into a food processor or blender with some salt and sugar (depending on your preference how much you’d add. If you’re unsure, ask your mom). 

Did you know that spicy food is considered an aphrodisiac? It promotes blood flow and enhances bodily sensations, leaving your mouth tingly, your face flushed, and you’d probably be fanning yourself and panting from the heat. I really don’t need to say more. Only Joe as Sub-Zero could cool you down after eating this.

Manny Jacinto and Sinigang – Philippines

Last but most definitely not least, by far the most popular TDILF of the year, Manny Jacinto. Just as a personal note from the writer, those of you who only ‘got it’ after watching The Acolyte, the rest of us were here when he played Jason Mendoza in The Good Place and That-One-Guy for 8 seconds in Top Gun: Maverick, okay? He is undoubtedly Filipino, and he flaunts that. But to honour him as Qimir and specifically the soup scene in episode 6, we’d like to introduce you to an iconic Filipino comfort food: Sinigang.

Sinigang is a savoury, sour soup that uses pork or any protein, tamarind juice and pulp, onion, tomatoes, fish sauce, water spinach, and, frankly, any other vegetable you had in mind. Everything is boiled, but there is a sequential order that should be followed. While it is simple, there is an art to making a good sinigang, by adding the right ingredients, in the right order, with the right amount.

Manny takes his roles VERY seriously, and has committed to hitting the gym and sticking to vigorous training routines and regiments, and that includes a strict diet to achieve that body. So I think if you made the perfect sinigang soup, you could possibly tempt him to the dark side, because for a lot of Filipinos, sinigang is their very own Good Place.

Did we miss any of YOUR fav TDILFs? Let us know, and we’ll DILFinitely check them out. And who knows, maybe a part 2 could be in the works?